A Railroad Track Switch.
A train is headed one direction and suddenly, sometimes sharply ... usually with a jolt, the course is changed.
And so it is when depression hits. Suddenly, so sharply that sometimes you can barely breathe ... everything changes.
The past few months since writing about my initial journey with depression and anxiety, God has revealed so much to me. In those darkest moments, days and hours, it is easy to wonder if God is there. The feelings of oppression and sadness and hopelessness are so overwhelming that it is difficult to "feel" God, even if you are deeply rooted in your faith. But ... He is there. In the fog, in the storm, in the dark stillness ... He is there. God is always at work.
And then there is JOY. Yes, joy. It is hard to imagine that you will have joy in your heart again. It is hard to think that you will have new friendships and relationships that are meaningful again. It is hard to see past the cloud of darkness that you will actually enjoy life again. But you can and you will. "I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete." John 15:11
You're just headed on a different track now.
The track may look a little different. It's not the way you had things planned out or how you pictured your life to be. But that's to be expected ... because YOU are different now too. Depression takes and depletes so many things from our lives. "The thief comes to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and that they may have it abundantly." John 10:10 You are not the same person you were before ...
You are on a different track now.
This track may not have the same passengers as before. Maybe some relationships didn't weather the storm well or they just grew apart. But trust Him. Oh it's so hard! And the loss of relationships compounds the loneliness and brings grieving. But just be patient and wait. He will bring new life and laughter through new people in your life and maybe even restore old friendships. The waiting is the hardest part. It takes time. Stay close to Him. Trust Him ...
You are just on a different track now.
The common thread in my life throughout my battle with depression has been my faith in Christ. I have never let go. Even when I did not understand, when I did not "feel" Him with me, when I was at my lowest ... I continued to cry out to Him. And He was there. He stayed constant. My faith has carried me through. When I glance back and see the person I was before depression hit, it's so easy to wish that was me again. That depression had never taken a hold. But I have to stay focused on where I am now and trust. "Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6
I'm just on a different track now.
And so ... headed one direction in life, down one track. And then something happened. Maybe it was death, loss, guilt, shame, heartache, sickness or depression. And then suddenly with a sharp sudden jolt things switched. The track switched. It takes a bit of adjustment to make the switch. You were once going that way and now you are going this way. It's not always a smooth adjustment or a quick adjustment ... it takes time. But try to embrace it the best you can. God has plans for you. And even though you might not have been prepared for the switch, God was. He knew ... He knows ... and He can work through you and in you now in ways that weren't possible before.
Because you're headed on a different track now ... and the view ahead looks beautiful.
Read my personal story of depression here ~ http://robinmccartney.blogspot.com/2015/04/the-darkest-shade-of-blue.html
